After about two weeks of mostly-daily blog posts, I fell into a pretty annoying depression. I think I’m most of the way out now. Consequently, the sprint I had planned from the 2nd to the 8th (odd timing, yes) has been completely scrapped. Items from it were deleted, de-scheduled, or re-scheduled to my next sprint, which will run from the 9th to the 21st. I think longer sprints will work better. I think gaps between them also need to exist and be probably a couple of days long.
A little more honesty and vulnerability below the fold.
Much of my family deals with depression. Much of my family deals with bipolar disorder. My observation has been, so far, that the men tend to be more depressive in general, and the women tend to be more bipolar. The numbers no longer support this conclusion. So I’ve been left wondering if perhaps what I’m dealing with has been misidentified.
I did just have two weeks where I felt great and got a lot done. Lately, it seems like I switch between being depressed and not being depressed every few weeks. Could I be experiencing manic and depressive phases?
Full disclosure: I really don’t like the idea of being bipolar. If I had to choose, I’d much rather be depressed. Bipolar seems much scarier to me than depression. That said, I think the answer is “no.” While it’s true that I’m swinging between two states, calling the non-depressed state “manic” really doesn’t seem right. During this last good period, I still slept 8 hours a night, didn’t engage in any particularly reckless or irresponsible behavior, didn’t take any serious risks, and didn’t scrub my carpet to within an inch of its life.
All this navel-gazing aside, I’m really ready to get back to work. I have lots more to write. I have a concert and a performance to prepare for. I have oodles of system administration tasks that really need to get done. I have worlds of possibility to invent and occupy and share with others.
Stay tuned. More is coming.