So long I have given as much as I could, I suppose, supposing that it would come back. The idea od community, as it was explained to me, is all for one and one for all. So I gave as much as I could.

I’m in a really tough place right now and I’ve got a lot of forces wanting to take. I guess it’s been this way for a while, I mean, I found so very many worthy causes and gave what I could to them, time, money, expertise, equipment, assistance, whatever I could, all the while hoping that community would step in and take care of me. So far that has failed pretty spectacularly. I am a better person and what good is it doing me? I can’t eat my own charity.

The Matrix is a cruel thing, always willing to take and rarely willing to give back. You’ve gotta do a damn good job convincing it that you’re worth taking care of, and every chance it gets, it will cut your wages and raise your cost of livin, ask for more and offer less.

My typing is poor because the machine I’m typing on was not made for blogging. The Matrix has not seen fit to offer me my usal accommodations despite the years I’ve put into its maintenance and upkeep. I have given all I can and I can give no more. If the world wants me to keep giving, then I need some back right now. I need to catch a break and I need it pronto.

4 thoughts on “checkmate?

  1. Feeling similarly. What can I do to help you?

  2. naptastic says:

    Two important things happened: 1. I got a passable night's sleep, and 2. the Internet got turned back on.

    My podcasts are up to date, which means I can return to work without going crazy, which means I can make money, and tell the people (one person, really) who is demanding more and offering less to stuff it, and before you know it, hope has returned.

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