I get that your experience today was that you consistently failed to translate your desires into reality. I get that you experienced a lack of power, freedom, and an inability to express yourself. I get that your expectations were unmet, your intentions thwarted, your communications undelivered. You’re not a failure; shit just happened the way it happened, and you made it mean what you made it mean.
I get that you gave up on some things, or at least took a break from them. You’re still not a failure; you’re just doing what you’re doing and then making it mean something.
If you really do give up, you’re still not a failure. You just gave up and then made it mean something.
If you declare yourself a failure, you’re still not a failure. You did what you did, what happened happened, and then you made it mean something. In Reality, there’s no you to be a failure. You’re just a conversation you’re having with yourself. You’re just a story you tell yourself about yourself. You tell yourself things and then make what you told yourself mean something.
Buddha said life is suffering. Bullshit. Life is pain and life is pleasure. Suffering is optional. Gratitude is optional. And I’m saying this all as much for my benefit as for yours. My brain has not wanted to be happy this last week, which is annoying, because my brain is real and I’m not, so if it’s depressed, it’s like “rocks are hard, water is wet, and I’m depressed.” I went to the gym, out to sushi with a good friend, out on a date, going to a party tomorrow. It hurts like hell and I gave up early last night because it hurt so much and I’ll probably give up early tomorrow night because it will still hurt.
A hundred years from now we will both be long gone. Two hundred years from now everyone we’ve ever met will be long gone. A thousand years from now, no one will even consider our existence. Four billion years from now the earth will be swallowed up in the sun’s expansion as it dies a slow, boring death.
Why the fuck not.
This is what it means that life is empty and meaningless. I say that, and people keep making it mean that life is empty and meaningless, and it doesn’t mean that. It just doesn’t mean anything.